Sunday, July 31, 2011


I've been pretty active the past couple of months, so this weekend I decided I'm not doing ANYTHING. It happens to me sometimes, I just can't tolerate people's faces anymore, so I hibernate for a few days to recoup. I have to say, Lifetime was on FIRE yesterday. They played the Hilary Swank "I beat my mom" classic Terror In The Family. How in the hell did she go from this shit to winning two Academy Awards? Next, one of my absolute FAVS, Family Sins with Kirstie Alley playing the stepmother from hell. And last but not least, that Jennifer Love Hewitt prostitution movie. But I digress...

Yesterday I was getting a little bored, so I downloaded Grindr on my phone. Yeah yeah, I know this shit has been around for ages, but I've avoided it because it's just not my style. For those who are completely tardy for the party, Grindr is an app you can download on your phone that shows you the nearest gay guys based on your GPS. You can message each other, set up a date (or more likely a fuck), etc. 

Okay, moment of honesty, there are guys messaging me on Grindr that I would no doubt screw five ways to Sunday if I met them in real life. But I just can't do this online hookup thing! I don't know what it is... fear? Maybe I'm just old-fashioned? Maybe deep down I've gotten too happy being alone? Low self-esteem about my looks? My aversion to drama? All of the above? Who the frak knows... I just don't have the will/desire to follow through with one of these.

I did do an online hookup once that didn't go too well, so maybe that's it. It was a particularly horny time and all I kept meeting in real life was club/bar trash. Everyone was talking about the casual encounters section on craigslist (lmao, don't judge me!), so I figured what the hell... The encounter itself went fine, he was a nice looking guy, supposedly a mechanic (which is a turn on), he got off, I got off. He even came back in the morning for a repeat session. And then the shit hit the fan... we started talking afterwards and he told me he was married with two kids. I immediately felt like white trash and told him to leave. I can't stand drama and I've seen too many episodes of Forensic Files and Cheaters to get caught up in that kind of shit.

So, what do you guys think about Grindr/Manhunt/craiglist and the rest of their ilk? Am I over-thinking it? Have you had any experiences with it? I'm curious.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Ms. Fenty... sit down!

It's hard to believe I started this blog a little less than a year ago with a Rihanna concert... and here I am seeing another one already. Bitch wasted no time hitting the road again. Butwhatever, Riri puts on a fun show; catchy songs, trashy costumes, half-naked male dancers, weave flinging... all the basic essentials. I honestly preferred her last tour, simply because the setlist was better, but I still had fun. One pro going for this show? It was far sleazier. I think it only took her twenty seconds to drop her ass and start humping the floor... and the "Darling Nikki/S&M/Skin" bondage themed section was a nice touch. Another pro? Way better seats, right next to the left stage/platform. I could have thrown my underwear at her. Maybe next time!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Well, it all started out innocently enough, a simple trip to a neighborhood bar for some drunk karaoke. After an inebriated and no doubt inspirational rendition of "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" (for which I got $11 in tips BTW), I stepped outside with a friend. Apparently, some serious shit was going down at this bar; a group of Mexicans (the lovely guys who gave me the tips) showed up to fight a group of ex-cons, some chick got involved and there was a rumble in front of the bar. The cops came, somehow my friend and I got sucked into it because we were outside at the time... we ended up getting questioned and having our drivers licenses ran by the police. The cops told us all to leave immediately, so I went inside to get my other friends from the bar... WHERE THERE WAS ANOTHER GODDAMN FIGHT! This time between one of my friends and the chick from the original outside rumble... which caused the bartender to throw us out. Then I had to drive my drunk ass friend home (who apparently lives in the middle of nowhere). Needless to say, I didn't get home until after four in the morning. All of this for Bonnie Tyler? I don't know if it was worth it.

That being said, I will be there again soon. My friend and I are already rehearsing a rousing rendition of "Alone" by Heart. We're bringing the fucking house down, hopefully with more tips and less rumbles.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Speedy McSpeederson

It's been a good run, but as they say, all good things must come to an end. I haven't received a speeding ticket in 10 years, but apparently my number was up this morning. My ass got pulled over while driving to a dentist appointment. Seriously!? The dentist!? I'm all for good oral hygiene, but this is the most expensive cleaning I've ever gotten. 

Can't say I didn't deserve it, was definitely speeding... I just want to kick myself though. I could have spent that money on something way more fun... like berries!

Who ate my blueberries?

It's summer and you know what that means. Berry season! I'm a berry fanatic... raspberries, blueberries, blackberries... all of em!

Must.... eat.... more....

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Random Observation...

I usually have an immense dislike of celebrity reality shows, but something about Ice Loves Coco caught my eye. Who am I kidding... Coco caught my eye, she's so over-the-top and tacky I can't help but admire her.

Now for the random observation... is it just me... or is Ice T seriously the best husband on TV? He's always such a hardass in his film and TV roles, but he's a fucking teddy bear in real life. Loving, supportive, funny, positive, affectionate... hell, I'd marry him after watching ILC. A hardon for Ice T? Never saw that one coming.

I don't know what the hell Coco is trying to do in this clip... well, it speaks for itself.