Sunday, June 26, 2011

Birds: the sequel

What in the flying holy hell is it with me and birds? Today I decide to read out on my deck, when out of nowhere, this creepy/diseased looking bird lands down in front of me and starts screeching. I'm of course thinking WTF? It proceeds to come at me so I swat at it... well, that just seemed to make it angrier. It went into full swoop/screeching mode, I swear to God it tried to follow me in to my house to finish me off. I AM DONE with birds.

Here's a pic of the stupid bird. Look at it giving me the stank eye. 

UPDATE: No fucking lie, the bird is standing on my front porch, staring at me through my glass door. What the... 

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Out with the old...

I don't know what's gotten into me (post-vacation blues possibly?), but I just cleaned the hell out of my closets and drawers. I'm going to tell you when I lost it, when I found clothes I used to wear in middle school and high school. Just a reminder, I'm 30... it's time to let it go (to quote W&G, your youth called, it wants its shirt back). I bought a ton of clothes before I went on vacation and I've been doing quite a bit of retail therapy since getting back. I've bought more clothes and shoes in the past three weeks than I've bought in the past ten years.

Pictured above are the first four bags being dropped off at the Goodwill and I'm still not finished. What's really sad? After I dropped these off, I went into the Goodwill and bought clothes. What the...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Hawaii... cont.

As I've stated previously, I'm not a big picture taker. Hell, I don't even own a camera (aside from the one on my phone). Here's a few random pics from my vacation in HI taken by my friends. FYI, these do not do this trip justice.

First off, the condo we stayed in was ridiculously nice. It was only 25 feet to the beach from the back door. And no lie, the first thing I saw when I looked in the water was sea turtles eating off of the rocks. Seriously... fucking sea turtles in the backyard. All I have are squirrels in PA. We did quite a bit of snorkeling on the trip, once on a tour and on our own at a few beaches. There were tons of beautiful fish and coral to see and swimming with the sea turtles was fun. We did an all day tour/hike of the island, through the rainforest and mountains, saw various beaches (black sand, red sand...), waterfalls, animal life, etc. Also took a trip to a dormant volcano/crater. But most of the time was spent relaxing on the beach, soaking up the rays (i.e. getting burnt to hell and back).

Sunset in the backyard

Me getting burnt to a crisp on the back deck

Me exploring one of the black sand beaches. I went on a mini hike, there was a kick ass cave

Random pics of the rainforest and beach

Me and a random chicken, lmao. It just ran out of the woods and expected me to feed it

Here's a pic of the crater/volcano from the summit. Notice the clouds beneath us, that's how high we had to go. It was an ear-popping good time

Looking tired as hell after an afternoon of snorkeling

And of course there was a Luau. Here's me and some peeps getting our drink on

Post Vacation Blues

Tell 'em Bette! That's exactly how I felt when I arrived back in PA.

I am having a serious case of the the post vacation blues. This was by far the best vacation I've ever had... so relaxing... so peaceful... so beautiful... Pittsburgh is a goddamn armpit! As you can tell, I did not want to leave Maui. My friends almost had to drag me kicking and screaming on to that cursed plane.

Next on my to do list... move to Hawaii! Mark my words, I'm making it happen. I'll post a few stupid pics later.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Hello, HI

Hot damn! So as mentioned in a previous post, I'm gonna use the $1500 I won in April to go to HI. I leave Wednesday for a week-and-a-half vacay and it couldn't have come at a better time. My usual wardrobe consists of jeans, boots and (pick any dark color) t-shirt... so I used this as an excuse to get a brand new summer wardrobe (honestly, I went overboard). I've got my sunscreen, flips and trunks and I'm ready to do this thing! The only solidified plan I've made is a day-long tour of Maui... I'm gonna wing the rest. I'm so tired of touristy vacations that end up being exhausting, this is my sit on the beach and not do a damn thing vacation.

Here's me trying to get a little sun before I leave. There's no getting around it, I will be burnt to a crisp by the time this is over. Uh-oh, nipple shot!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Can charity be tacky?

There's a darling little town about 25 miles north of Pittsburgh called Zelienople (hold up, did I just use the word darling? Yikes). There's a theater on their main street called The Strand that shows a different movie every week. This week, a portion of the ticket sales go toward the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund to assist tornado victims. Awwww... isn't that nice? Right up until you see what film they're showing... TWISTER!!  You know the one, the cheesy tornado blockbuster with Helen Hunt, Bill Paxton and Jamie "Solarbaby" Gertz. I'm officially *DEAD*. Tacky as hell... but I'm digging it.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Latest celebrity obsession...

I love January Jones on Mad Men (although Betty is certainly a take her/leave her type of character). But after watching January in other roles (Unknown, X-Men: First Class, her stint on SNL), it's occurred to me that she's not a very good actress. I take that back... she's not a bad actress per se... more of an anti-actress. It's almost as if she can't bring herself to truly give a shit or commit to a character. I find her blatant indifference hilarious.

And you know what really fascinates me about Ms. Jones? THE FACT THAT NO ONE KNOWS WHO HER BABY DADDY IS! One thing you need to know about me, I am incredibly NOSY. I admit it up front, no shame. JJ is a glamazon Maury Povich episode. I love it, bitch is five months pregnant and will not tell people who the father is. What is she hiding!? My suspicion... she's a homewrecker and doesn't want to reveal it publicly.

She's gorgeous, has a name straight out of a James Bond movie, doesn't give a shit about her day job (judging by her performances) and is knocked up with a secret love child. How can I not be obsessed? And did I mention the boobs? I may be gay, but I dig a killer rack. Here's a clip of her sleepwalking through her latest role in the new X-men film. Notice that she's doing all of her acting with her eyelids... that's talent.