Friday, May 27, 2011

Reese Witherspam

Spam emails crack me up, but this morning was especially nice. I got one from Academy Award winning actress Reese Witherspoon! My question? Is anyone really dumb enough to open a spam email thinking it's from Reese Witherspoon? And what a random celebrity to pick. Wouldn't someone like Angelina Jolie get more action? And why is she forwarding me a "hi" message? Can't she say hello for herself... rude!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Such a big slot...


We did a team outing at Dave & Buster's today (aka Chuckie Cheese for adults). I don't know what it is, but I am an addict when it comes to coin/token games. The promise that if you keep playing the same machine you'll get a reward... it's all a trap! If I ever go to Vegas, I'm playing the slots until I pass out from dehydration.

And all of this for what? Let's just say the D&B prize store left quite a bit to be desired. I got a Domo stuffed animal (what the hell?) and a D&B t-shirt I'll probably never wear.

*And judging by the above pic, apparently playing slots makes you look like you have a spare tire/gut. Bad for your wallet, posture and photo ops!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

We got gypped!


I woke up this morning and all of the shitty people are still here! I was hoping the rapture would sweep them away...

Midget Madness?


Yesterday I hit up the Pirates vs. Tigers game with a few friends. Later on, we went to the Southside for food and drinks and I came across this sign. WTF is Midget Madness? My friend swears she's been before and that there's a doghouse on the bar with a midget sitting in it. I'll have to do some research into this...

Belated Marathon Post


Alright, I've been waiting for a week for my damn pics for this post and they still haven't arrived. So screw it! If they eventually come, I'll just update.

The half-marathon was a success and surprisingly fun (which I did not expect, I pictured myself crossing the finish line and dying). All of my fellow VZW runners met up at the office around 4:30AM (yikes) and carpooled downtown. It was of course raining the entire time, but it was raining just enough to keep everyone cool, I guess you could call it a misty drizzle. There were hotties everywhere, and shirtless hotties at that. Put your clothes on! The crowd cheering us on was ridiculously motivational and there were bands scattered throughout the race to help pump us up.

The biggest lesson learned? Go in the woods! At around mile eight, I really had to pee and couldn't hold it any longer. They have port-o-potties scattered throughout the run, but the lines are soooo long. The two times I had to piss during the race added twenty minutes to my time, ridiculous! And waiting in line screwed up my pace, I didn't run as smoothly after that first br break. Next time, I'm going behind a tree or using it as motivation to finish faster.

After you cross the finish line, they give you a medal (pictured horribly above hanging on the doorknob) and a bunch of hoopla. The crew and I walked down the street and hit up Bettis' (stinky and all) for a good time. I really enjoyed myself and think I'm a little bit addicted, I've already signed up for another one in September.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Calm before the storm....

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! The Pittsburgh Marathon is tomorrow! How did it sneak up on me so fast? Hell if I know, but today I finalized my running fit. That's right, I'm running with pros, I can't look like a ragamuffin. I decided to go with green, it's my favorite color... and it makes my eyes pop (holy mother of Madge I'm such a queer). There's going to be hundreds of hotties there tomorrow, best face forward! I don't know why I'm nervous, I've been running for months, but I've heard the horror stories; toenails popping off, blisters from hell, passing out, thigh chaffing, shitting yourself, nipples bleeding... not the nipples! Today is all about R&R and loading up on delicious carbs... mmmmmmmm... carbs. I'll post about my misadventures tomorrow. If there is no post, assume I died a tragic marathon related death and contact Blogger to enshrine my account.


Batting my lovelies in my shiny green shirt.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Not those kind of bears...

I've seen this video pop up on a few blogs here and there, but I figured I'd post it anyway. I'm a huge sucker for news bloopers, so this is right up my alley. The news story about marijuana being guarded by bears is so absolutely ridiculous, the poor anchor woman can't keep a straight face. I absolutely lost it at the 3:00 minute mark, why were those damn bears sitting?!

Hmmmmmmm...

A few friends took me out to eat the other day to one of my fav Italian joints in the vicinity. This sign was out front, no lie. Osama Bin Laden certainly wasn't a friend of mine, but something about this wreaks of tacky...


 Front


And the back... Classy!