Saturday, April 16, 2011

Diva Worship

There is an abundance of huge and successful female artists at radio right now, just to name a few, Rihanna, Katy Perry, Britney, Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Adele, Jennifer Lopez (comeback!), Nicki Minaj, Pink, Avril, Fergie (courtesy of BEP), Taylor Swift, hell, even Beyonce is about to drop a track in the next couple of weeks. I'm not here to discuss the quality (or lack thereof) of these women, different strokes for different folks! But this huge glut of women at radio got me to thinking about gay men and their divas. Every gay man has a DIVA (and lets face it, most gay men have more than one). That female artist that they worship, be it blatantly or secretly. They sing her in the shower, blast her in the car, pop their asses to her music in the club. They may not admit it, but they have a concert DVD stuffed somewhere in the back of their DVD collection....

And to those gay men too ashamed of being stereotyped, stop lying to yourself! I know you have a Madonna album hiding somewhere in your house. Even the straightest, most roided-up, most self-loathing, closet-case, homophobe fag out there has a DIVA. Granted, it might be a female artist that won't raise gay suspicion (like Sheryl Crow, Stevie Nicks, etc.), but it's still the same! And let's not confuse diva and female singer, there is a huge difference. My favorite female in the music game is Nina Persson, period. Bitch can weave a tale of heartbreak like nobody's business, but I wouldn't call her a diva. No, I'm talking about that female artist who is larger than life. 

So, who are my favorite divas? There are a few, but I'll just talk overall and current. I'm definitely of the Madonna generation. She is the queen, end of story, it's a wrap, the rest can go sit down. The videos, the concerts, the fashion, the controversies, everything! But most importantly, the music. At the end of the day, Madonna has recorded some of the finest damn pop music of the past 30 years. Her debut album sounds fresher to me today than some of the current sh*t at radio. Granted, Madge has lost some of her luster over the years, but she's still fucking Madonna.

Now, moving on to the newer generation of women. I've got to bow down to Beyonce. She pretty much sh*ts on all of her contemporaries with her stage presence alone. Everything is pulled together, the vocals, the dancing, the swag, the WIGS. Sure, she wouldn't know what the word "subtlety" meant if it crawled up her ass, but that's part of her charm. She goes big and beats you over the head with it. Her music has definitely been hit or miss, but B'Day is without a doubt the gayest album I've heard over the past decade. I think the entire thing must have been ghost-written and produced by a troupe of drag queens. And her work ethic! This bitch hasn't sat down since 1997 when the first DC single came out. RESPECT. Can't wait for the new album, which I'm sure will be hilarious and over-the-top (have you seen the video stills?) and the sure to follow trannytastic tour.

So, be honest, who are your fav divas?!


  1. Well, it's definitely not "Don't look me directly into the eyes" Jennifer Lopez, the so-called "Most Beautiful Woman in the World." I feel like I'm in a parallel universe. God, what is this world coming to when a fat ass no talent bitch like Jo Lo is celebrated? Just my humble opinion. Now you want to talk divas? Dinah Washington. No one will ever come close to that majestic lady.

  2. Yeah, I'm not the biggest J.Lo fan either. She has a cute song every now and then, but all of her albums have been TRASH.

  3. Divas? Oohh...let's see, here are a few:
    Nina, Dusty, Chaka, Diana, Donna, Madonna, Roisin, Robyn...

  4. Don't get me wrong Nathan, I have nothing against diva's. From what I hear, Dinah Washington could be a pain in the ass too. It's just that I don't think Jo Lo is a good singer. I think she is vastly overrated. And now she's 'The Most Beautiful Woman in the World"? I don't think so.

  5. Ron, J.Lo couldn't sing a lick if her life depended on it.

    jason, where the frak has Roisin been? She needs to release that damn album already.