Sunday, February 20, 2011

And the lucky winner is... Lucky!

Consider Mission 2011 accomplished! After much perusing, digging and stuffing I finally found a decent pair of jeans. The trophy goes to Lucky Brand. A few things I've learned on this excursion, #1) I'm too old for this shit. Every store I went to had funky stitching, bleaching, fringe, patches, etc. I need a normal/classic pair of jeans for work. I refuse to walk into the office with patterns on my ass. Lesson #2) I'm really too old for this shit. It was my intention to hit up every store in the tri-state area, but after cramming my ass into several dozen different jeans, I petered out at store number six.

I have to give major props to Lucky, the people in the store were helpful in finding exactly what I wanted. Plus, their jeans are very simple and classic, they save the cheekiness for the inside of the pants. The rivets, which look normal on the outside have a yin/yang base on the inside. The pocket liners are covered with four-leaf clovers. And my favorite part? When you open the button fly, there's a tag on the right side that says "Lucky You" (on the inside, the tag says "Lucky Me"). I hope all the fellas that have the pleasure of unbuttoning my jeans in the future agree.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Mission 2011

We've already talked about Mission 2010 (to meet the giant Reesey Cup at Hershey Park), now it's time for Mission 2011. To find a pair of jeans that fit! My entire life I've been cursed with ill-fitting jeans. The waist is too loose, but the leg is too tight. The waist is too tight, but they sag in the ass. The ass fits, but... Well, you get the picture! I recently got a nice bonus at work so money is not an issue, I'm going all out for these jeans! I'm hitting up the mall today and slapping hos right and left if they get in my way. Results will be posted soon.

As for the picture of the hustler... why not? It's kind of jeans related.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Show me the Monáe!

I know, I know... terrible pun in the title... anyway! 

I've had Janelle Monáe's singles on my iPod for quite sometime ("Cold War" and "Tightrope" were two of my fav songs of 2010), but I never got around to downloading her entire album. After she slayed at the Grammy's this weekend I had to check out the rest. I'm in love! Her album does have issues; it could be trimmed by a few tracks and some of her more experimental tracks don't quite gel, but it's a pretty impressive and expansive body of work. I'm a sucker for her ballads ("Oh, Maker," "Sir Greendown," "57821"), but the uptempos are nothing to sneeze at. She's emerging as a promising video artist as well, I love the deconstructive approach she takes on "Cold War." And definitely check out the vid for "Tightrope," bitch has style and moves. I'd post it, but embedding has been disabled (seriously? in this day and age?)

Speaking of "Tightrope," anyone who can rhyme alligators, rattlesnakers, flavor, terminator and equivocating in a song verse gets huge props in my book.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

O'Hare... we meet again!

Same shit, different day! I had a layover at O'Hare in Chicago... and it was a disaster once again. I've talked about my issues with this cursed place in a previous post, so no surprises. My plane landed and there were no available gates. Over an hour went by on the tarmac and my connection to Pittsburgh had already left. They finally let me off... only to direct me to the neverending customer service line to get my flight re-booked. Long story short, no flights are leaving until the afternoon, so they gave me a free night at the Crowne Plaza and a meal voucher. It could be worse!

The bad part, they wouldn't give me my luggage. Pictured above is the fearful expression of a gay man with no hair product, deodorant or clean underwear. I'll be rocking it au natural I guess.

Ivanna Cone

I've been on a business trip in Lincoln, Nebraska for most of this week and had a really good time. Prior to moving to Pittsburgh, I called Lincoln home for about two and a half years. I made several good friends and it was fantastic seeing them again. I had to hit up one of my favorite spots while I was in town, Ivanna Cone. Without a doubt the best ice cream I've ever had in my life. They make it fresh every day and the menu is never the same. It's always an adventure because you never know what whacked out flavor they'll have next (peanut butter rice crispy treat ice cream? Don't mind if I do!)

I highly recommend it to anyone visiting Lincoln. And make sure to bring cash or check, they don't take credit/debit cards. And look, temporary Ivanna Cone tattoos! Doesn't get much cooler than that. If you flex it for them, you get 10% off.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Cinema Intervention

My name is Nathan... and I have a problem. I am a trashy movie-aholic.

I love movies, big-budget, indie, foreign, classic, arthouse, Lifetime, garbage, whatever... but I think I hit rock-bottom tonight. My pixie-friend Kristy asked me to go see The Roommate and I just couldn't say no. I spent eight of my hard-earned dollars to sit in a theater full of tweens, all to watch a movie that featured a cast member from every single fucking show on The CW (I am not lying, I recognized cast members from at least five CW shows). And the movie? Holy crap was it terrible, which of course I knew before going in! I will give the film this much, there were quite a few unintentionally hilarious moments. And Leighton Meester tried, she really did. But it was still just a crappy teen version of Single White Female.

Speaking of Single White Female, I just bought it on DVD with a giftcard I got for my b'day... see, I can't help myself! I won't even mention the other films I bought with my giftcard, but I will say that most of them were inspired by the "Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought..." scroll at the bottom of the Amazon SWF page. I'll let you guess which ones....


Friday, February 4, 2011

Bouter & Awl

I think it's time for me to talk about my love for all things Paula Deen. As a fellow Southerner and also a fellow Georgian, what can I say? The heffalump tickles my fancy! She's not afraid to talk about the most important things in life; bacon, grease, deep-frying, and of course her favorite ingredients bouter and awl (that's butter and oil for those who speak proper English). The fact that she isn't the size of a house is damn-near a miracle. I'll leave you with two Deen bits. First up is a video of her making her infamous doughnut hamburger. What makes it so hilarious is that it's been slowed-down and ominous music has been added. Who knew Paula could be so menacing in slo-mo?

And BY FAR the funnier of the two to me... her recipe for English Peas over at As if the recipe itself wasn't enough on it's own, it calls for canned peas and a pot (and of course half-a-stick of bouter). But the consumer reviews! Holy shit at the consumer reviews. There's over 200 of them and they are gut-wrenchingly hilarious. You should definitely take some time to peruse.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Try-phoria? Don't mind if I do!

I am by no means a prude, quite the opposite actually! But I was a bit shocked to see a commercial for a "personal massager" on national television the other day. How times have changed, I remember when condom commercials were considered racy. It doesn't help that the commercial is a T-total MESS, so poorly acted and written. The best part? When the woman's fiance yells "SWEET!" when he finds out they got three vibrators. Ummmmm... honey, you might want to rethink this marriage, he's a little bit too excited about those vibrators.

Five speeds? Three pulse patterns? Three interchangeable tips? As my grandmother would say, "you can't beat that, can't beat it with a stick!" Usually she was talking about a half-price sale on Treet, but I think it applies here...