Saturday, January 22, 2011

Bond 23

With the recent announcement that MGM is being bailed out and the next James Bond film is ago, I can breathe a sigh of relief! I'm not a huge James Bond fan, the movies are passable entertainment, but I'm a HUGE fan of James Bond themes. You know those cheesy sweeping ballads that play over the opening credit sequences? Yep, those. My favs are by far "You Only Live Twice" by Nancy Sinatra, "Diamonds Are Forever" by Shirley Bassey (who sang three themes no less) and "The World Is Not Enough" by Garbage. Speaking of Garbage, where in the hell has Shirley Manson been? It's time for a comeback babe.

Even the terrible themes are usually enjoyably campy. Lulu's "The Man With The Golden Gun" has to be heard to be believed. Horrific and amazing all at the same time. And plus, it's fucking Lulu! Madonna's "Die Another Day" was the last decent one ("Sigmund Freud, analyze this?" Fuck-worthy line). The two themes for the Daniel Craig Bond films were downright awful. Seriously, Chris Cornell? Alicia Keys and Jack White? I actually like them all, but they are not James Bond theme singers. We need someone ultra-gay... Kylie Minogue is overdue. Or how about Beyonce? She wouldn't know the meaning of the word subtlety if it slapped her in the face. Just what a James Bond theme needs!

And for shits and giggles. Here is Sheena Easton performing "For Your Eyes Only" at the Academy Awards back in the early 80's. THERE ARE NO WORDS. Well, yes there are: awkward, awful, campy, ridiculous... but whatever. The minute the disco beat and lasers kick in at about 1:30, I lose it.


  1. I remember that Sheena Easton "performance." Funny. How about the Isaac Hayes performance? Do you remember that one?

  2. Adam Lambert needs to sing the next James Bond theme song. He's got balls and mascara.

  3. Is that the perf where he came out in a car and looked like he was going to choke on all of the stage smoke?

    Adam does have a big diva voice, he may be able to pull it off.